04 Sep Who Are You Leaving Behind?
When exciting, new opportunities come into your life, one of the last things you expect to encounter is an overall lack of support or interest from your friends. There is no feeling of disappointment quite like the one you get when you share something that lights up your world, only for it to be met with disregard or apathy.
What are you supposed to do when a shift towards alignment within your own life coincides with a shift *out* of alignment with your relationships?
Are you supposed to hide your excitment and dull your shine? Hold yourself back from those opportunities so that you stay on the same path as your friendships? OR do you stare discomfort in the eye and embrace a shift in expectations?
The last 3 years I have experienced 4 life-changing transformations:
1. Marrying my hubby, Frank.
2. A serious health scare that landed me in the ER.
3. Taking a step back from my family business to pursue Life and Health Coaching.
4. Selling our condo in the city and making the move to a converted farmhouse in the suburbs.
As expected, each transition brought growing pains and realizations about what I want and need in order to live a life aligned with my Core Values. That frequently meant letting go of some old habits in exchange for newer/healthier ones and discovering a new path to take – even if that required changing direction.
I know that in your life, you’ve probably experienced the same – especially if you’ve got an entrepreneurial spirit like I do. Pursuing your own business is already hard as heck but what makes it even harder is when you encounter those friends who don’t seem to support your growth or can’t understand why you’ve “changed”.
Perhaps your frequent “Yes’s” have been replaced with more “No’s” because you are slowly uncovering that your time has become precious and limited. You may feel drained from years of being a giver within your friendship circles and never asking for anything in return. And you have finally had enough, knowing you deserve so much more.
If you’re excited about a new phase of your life but your friends don’t match your level of enthusiasm, it can feel isolating and discouraging. But let me ask you…what if their own lack of excitement isn’t even about you? What if it comes down to their own insecurities and old wounds that they haven’t healed? Sure – your journeys might no longer run parallel to one another and so you feel major guilt for “leaving them behind”. You take their personal journey on as your own burden.
But please hear me when I say that they are not your responsibility. And girlfriend, their response to your own life choices is also not your responsibility.
It’s important to take a step back when you feel the stress that comes from changing relationship dynamics and try to shift the natural resentment and frustration you feel to emotions of compassion and understanding. If you must speak your truth to let them know how you feel within their new season of your life, then do it. But remember to listen with compassion while standing your ground.
My challenge to you is to stay true to who you are and this vibrant journey you are on, regardless of the support you do or do not receive.
In the recent months of my own life, I have had weeks of feeling isolated and alone. Even though I have a husband who supports me, I’ve also had friends, coworkers and family fall through the cracks as I’ve moved forward into different directions and new ventures.
The most important thing I’ve discovered is in order to stay true to myself and my own journey, I have to constantly re-evaluate what MY expectations are rather than spend my energy living up (or stepping down) to someone else’s.
Everyone has their own lessons to learn during their lifetime. Keep your eyes on your own timeline and trust that the right things, people, and opportunities will fall into place.
“Let come what comes, let go what goes, see what remains.” – Sri Ramana Maharshi