04 Jun Why You Need To Get Vulnerable When Life Gets Chaotic
I see you trying to hold it all together. Your hands are full, your plate is full, your mind is full. There is a lot going on around you and inside of you. And still you’re showing up every day making sacrifice after sacrifice and whatever is left at the end of the day, you feel as though you’re barely scraping by.
And then you hop on Instagram and you see colorful squares of poolside relaxation, exotic travel, expensive clothing, and dreamy relationships, and you can’t help but wonder why it has to be *your life* that chaos finds, and not somebody else’s.
I’m here to tell you a HUGE truth: chaos finds us all. And it sure as hell found me last month.
Earlier this month, all of the lessons I’ve learned over the last 3 years were thrown in the trash. It was just like seeing that last serving of kale on your plate that you know would be good for you but you toss it to save room for dessert instead. Whoops?
A month ago, Frank threw out his back as he attempted to pick up a pot filled with dirt (later we found out there were bricks under the dirt). When it happened, he turned completely white and almost passed out so we made the quick decision to take him to the ER. The rest of the week I was a serious mess. Frank couldn’t move and I turned into caregiver, homemaker, errand runner, and dog walker. ALL while trying to continue growing my Life/Health Coaching business and attending meetings for our family business.
I was shocked that I didn’t lock myself in the closet and cry. To someone who thrives in chaos, this situation might have been less complicated but to someone like me who already struggles with anxiety and perfectionism, it quickly became a nightmare.
“Keep calm and slow down. Things will get better.” This is the phrase I kept telling myself over and over again, which seemed to help at first…until things weren’t necessarily getting better.
I felt awful for Frank and at the time we were unsure if his back would be okay. BUT as much as I was aware he needed me, I also realized that I needed to preserve my sanity, despite the chaos around me. I ramped up the self-care and prioritized my needs because I knew that would allow me to take better care of him.
I laid down some extra boundaries, made my health a priority, went to bed early and gave myself space for any emotions that came up.
When life gets chaotic, we often put ourselves on the backburner when, in reality, our self-care needs to be put at the top of our to-do list.
It’s in those hectic moments that we rely on the strong foundation we’ve built to hold us up and sustain our strength, trusting the process, and hunkering down into the imperfect reality instead of trying to “accomplish one more thing”.
We don’t need to understand the moment but we do need to risk being vulnerable.
For me, vulnerability is still something I’m working on. It’s allowed me to give up my pride and ask for help, leaning on friends and family for support, instead of pretending to have it all together.
Life doesn’t care if you’re “ready” or if you have a packed schedule with events, to-do’s and obligations. It will throw you a curveball anyways and make you feel like you are completely out of control.
Just remember – you might not be able to control the situation you’re in but you CAN control how you handle it.
So tell me – how can you shift the way you’re handling a less-than-ideal situation within your life to find your power, once again?