Settle Into Your Truth: How To Stop Feeling Like You’re Living A Double Life
Switching around appearances, personalities, or beliefs is exhausting and messy. One minute you’re in the workplace, trying your hardest to be who your coworkers think you are: smart, understanding, not too bossy, not too loud.
The next you’re visiting family, trying to tuck away your newfound beliefs, laughing at jokes that you definitely don’t think are funny, and praying that they’ll believe you when you lie about who you’ve been dating. And from there, you go out with a new group of friends to a seafood restaurant. You hate seafood. You’re carefully observing who they are so that you can, once again, adjust who you are to feel like you belong.
The truth? You are not a jewelry box - you do not have to compartmentalize who you are for the sake of acceptance. It’s time to stop living a double life and own all of who you are.
Do you ever feel like you’re living a double life?? Are you afraid to voice your opinions and what you believe in because you don't think other people will care or agree or accept? You conform to what scenario you're in or who you're hanging out with. Like a chameleon, constantly changing your colors.
For the longest time I felt like I lived two separate lives. One was this structured, responsible, serious, organized, and hardworking corporate gal. The other was a free-flowing, artistic, spiritual, fun dreamer. Somewhere along the way of life I was taught that to get anywhere and have any kind of success, the structured and organized girl had to precede.
When I built up enough self-awareness and made the uncomfortable decision to work through those limiting beliefs, I was able to drop the illusion of self doubt and understand that every layer was beautiful, significant and imperative to who I am.
These days I’ve been learning how to marry the two by gaining a better understanding of how each part of who I am works and plays into my life as a whole. How am I doing that? By following the steps below…
HOW TO OWN ALL OF WHO YOU ARE AND STOP LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE:
1. Accept who you are at this very moment.
You are so much more than a one-dimensional being. Don’t believe the lie that says you must be one thing but not the other. You can be both creative and disciplined, outgoing and introverted, driven and free-spirited. There is no formula to who you are or who you need to be. Accept that.
2. Lean into the different parts of who you are whenever you want.
If you’re working on a professional project but start to feel drained, rather than shame yourself with negative self-talk, take a break and get your hands dirty with something creative. If you’re planning a free-spirited road-trip but you’re starting to feel a little overwhelmed with all the unknowns, break out your notebook and jot down a few must-sees along the way to add a bit more structure. There are no rules here! Color outside the lines. Break out of the box. Just be you.
3. Express gratitude rather than guilt.
It’s easy to feel guilty when you can’t fit perfectly into a certain mold. Rather than telling yourself that you’re too driven, too eccentric, too introverted, too successful, etc. just stop and express gratitude. If you weren’t so driven, you wouldn’t be where you are today. If you weren’t so eccentric, you wouldn’t attract the kinds of people that inspire you. Each part of who you are makes up all of who you are. And trust me, you’re pretty freaking incredible!
No more leaving behind pieces of who you are so that you can better fit into the molds that society loves to keep you in. It’s time to live your life from a place of acceptance, wholeness, and gratitude.
I'd love to hear the different parts of you that you choose to lean into. Head on over to my Instagram and join the discussion!